what I did during my Badwater run.

How do you begin telling the story of how your dream came true? Maybe you start with the how the dream was born?

THE DREAM BECOMES A GOAL

10th grade

I heard about Badwater 135 back when I was in high school (like, in the late 80's, dude). I was not an athlete. I was not a runner. I was on the debate team and was taking college prep classes so I could get into college with scholarships so I could get out of the small town I grew up in. But something about this event stuck in my brain.

Fast forward to July 2008 when I ran my first ultra, the White River 50 miler and then on to August 2010 when I finished my first 100 at the Cascade Crest Classic. Somewhere in the midst of all this running (and reading about ultra running) I realized that I could run the Badwater 135 Ultramarathon. What was born in high school as a little dream turned into the raging flame of a goal. And, like most ultrarunners, I am very goal oriented. Once I set my mind on accomplishing something, I tend to get a tad bit focused on it.

First 100 mile finish. So sweet! Kris paced me here, John crewed.

I decided to apply to run the 2011 race. However, the standards were changed and I was no longer qualified to run. I thought about applying anyway but didn't want to irritate the race director. I looked at this one year delay as an opportunity to get stronger and smarter and better prepared for Badwater. But at that point, every step, every run, every race became part of the journey that would successfully get me to Badwater.

My good friend, Dory, at Arrowhead.
She kept following me!

Even the "bad" runs helped me get ready for Badwater. The painfully slow miles of Arrowhead 135 taught me patience. The last 40 miles of Javelina Jundred taught me how to walk/power hike with purpose. The endless one mile loops at Pac Rim 24 Hour taught me how to focus on the joy that is there somewhere in every step. The ridiculous mud at Lumberjack 100 taught me how to laugh at  such silly endeavors that we pay actual money to be a part of. All the while I learned about my strengths, my weaknesses, my nutritional needs and what it really means to be an ultrarunner on the mental and spiritual level.

Linda & I roadtrippin' after BW 2011

My good friend, Linda, and I crewed Terry Sentinella at Badwater in 2011. We learned a lot. I took what I knew would work for me and changed what I knew wouldn't. I got to see Badwater in action which brought to life all I had read and heard about it (which was a lot). I had a plan. Then I just had to get in. Which, obviously, I did.

THE RACE

What can I say, my race was actually really quite boring. I had a super awesome team (name: High Voltage) consisting of John Pearch, Kris Ryding, Sean Sexton, Linda Huyck, Cyndie Merten and Nick Harvey who all did such a great job of taking care of me that I had no major issues. No blood blisters (just 3 small regular toe blisters), no vomiting (just some queasiness), no heat stroke, no med tent, no tears. Nothing. Just perpetual forward motion. I didn't even change my clothes. Well, my socks and shoes once, but that was planned ahead of time.

My goal was to finish in 40 hours. I managed a finish time of 35:49:58. BAM! Finished before the sun set! 5th place woman and 35th overall.

The temperature was pretty mild this year at Badwater. The high reached 113 and stayed there for a few hours (average is 117). However, what we did have this year was a 40 mph sustained head wind while climbing Towne's Pass. The gusts were stronger; much stronger. The wind wasn't as hot as it "could" have been but it was definitely a force to be dealt with.

At this point I could tell you what my splits were, what my pace was, how many times (and when, thank to my crew writing it all down) I had a bodily function, who passed me, who I passed, how much salt I took in, how much ice we went through...or what not. But really, I didn't do anything special. Maybe I'll save those logistics for a different blog post.

What you can't discern from any of the the results is what was going on in my mind.

THE THOUGHTS IN MY MIND

Before the start


Goofy tears & emotions at Furnace Creek on Saturday before the race.



Loading up on salt.

High Voltage Feet!

• I AM AT BADWATER 2012! This is my race number! They are taking my picture for the website! I'm finally here!!!
• I AM AT FURNACE CREEK!! As a runner! I am here! Oh my gosh! I am right here right now!!
• I hope I hit that sweet spot that you sometimes hit when you run. You know, THAT spot where nothing hurts, not even pain, when you feel like you could go forever? I want that here at Badwater. I hope I get that spot and not that other one.

Start to Furnace Creek (mile 0 to mile 17):

Kris & Nick on the way to the start!

Me, Kris, Nick & John taking the traditional picture at the start.

Standing at the back of the 8 a.m. start wave w/Karla Kent.

Chris Kostman does the countdown and yells "GO!"

• Why aren't I crying? I always get a little emotional in the first 1/2 mile or so. I'm just too friggin' happy! I'm finally here, doing THIS! Badwater 2012!

Almost all the 8 a.m. starters are WAY in front of me

• Why is everyone so far ahead? Gheesz. I am s l o w. Wow. This sucks. I'm pretty much alone and everyone is getting smaller and smaller. Oh hey! There's HIGH VOLTAGE!

Crew 1 starts offering me ice bandannas very early on

• Really? Why are they doing that? It isn't even hot. Seriously. It takes energy to say "No thank you" so why even offer it so soon?
• OK, fine. If they are going to keep offering it (3 times total) then I should take it just to make them happy but not because I need it yet.

Largish hill up ahead

• I should hike this but I'm so far back and running feels so good. And this hill isn't that big, just big relative to the flat stuff.
• Drat. Crew 1 just yelled at me to slow down. Guess I'll hike this hill. And that next one. But not because I need to but because I trust my crew to tell me what to do.

More cool stuff to see all around

• Wow. This is so cool. I'm running in Death Valley at Badwater 2012! Look at those cool mountains! Look at how the sun is hitting the rocks. Feel how the temperature changes in the sun versus in the shadows. OMG!! I am right here right now!!!

Furnace Creek Check Point

• Yeah! All the crew is here! They are so excited and are asking me so many questions. I don't know. Just whatever! I'm on the grass at the Furnace Creek Check Point and I just checked in at Badwater 2012!! Hey I need to stretch here. John, not so much sunscreen. Just a mist please!
• All right, let's go! Sure, Cyndie can pace! I'm doing fine on my own but this is just so much fun!

Furnace Creek to Stovepipe Wells (mile 17 to mile 42):

Hey, were starting to see more cars and some of the same cars! That must mean I'm catching up to the 6 a.m. wave and the 8 a.m. wave that was so far ahead of me at the start.

• Just keep running, this feels so good! Oh, there's a hill. I will walk that. I don't want to but I will.
• WOW! The lead guy, Mike Morton, just passed me. Wish I could run like that but at least I get to see it!
• It's getting hotter and the sun beating on my left ear and the wind hitting it too, think I'll get an ice towel and make myself a little cave.
• Man, that wind feels cool now! This towel rocks! How come no one else is using a towel?
• Hey, there's Jarom Thurston! Yeah I get a hug and lots more positive energy! What do you mean "Slow Down", Jarom? I'm just running happy stupid!
• There's Marshall Ulrich! He said I ought to be able to run up a lot of Towne's Pass. Ha ha! Hope I didn't make a fool of myself visiting with him. His crew actually reached down and removed a rock from his path. And I thought High Voltage was an awesome crew!
• Hey, there's Stovepipe Wells already! Time to sit, change my socks and shoes, eat and start the climb.

John asks if I want to jump in the pool

• It's not that hot. I am raring to go! I'm here at Badwater 2012!

Stovepipe Wells to Panamint Springs (mile 42 to mile 72):

At this point in the race the wind really picked up (to about 40 mph). I was planning on running some of less steep stuff.

• Man, this wind is intense! Makes no sense to run in it. Physics and energy conservation baby!
• "Hey Linda, this wind is just stupid! It's funny!" Let's hike, laugh, dive through the wind and enjoy the ridiculousness of it all.
• Wow, people are running and passing me in this wind. Maybe I should be running? No, be patient. You know what is best. Have discipline to do what you know is best. Yes, this race is about discipline. The work leading up to it and having a smart strategy when you are in it.
• More laughter and smiles. The crew cars all have their windows up and hardly anyone is out of their cars.

The top of the pass, a wide pull out in the road

• So many people sleeping and resting on cots and on the ground. I thought this was were it was supposed to get fun?
• Down hill, let's go! But, be disciplined. Is this too hard? Yes, slow down; no, just flow!

The lights of Panamint Springs

• YEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW! I'm at Badwater 2012 checking in at Panamint Springs! Oh yeah!
• Now, I am really sleepy. Why am I so sleepy. Body feels good (slight swelling of hands, headache is gone after caffeine consumption, some queasiness) but I am just sleepy. My eyes don't want to stay open. Seriously? I want to have fun! To have energy! And to have a nap! You can't have it all! No nap for you!

Panamint Springs to Darwin (mile 72 to mile 90):

• Kris says "Take this" I say "Ok".
• The only thing I remember thinking here for sure (other than being frustrated at being sleepy, realizing it is my latte Perpetum elixir that is making me feel queasy and that I need a 5 hour energy) is: OMG!!! That is the Darwin Check Point! I'm right here right now at Badwater! I'm running this race! This is so freakin' awesome!! I think I might have done a little dance here too. I was pretty excited.
• Linda keeps asking "What do you need?". I don't know!! You tell me! You guys tell me what to do and I do it. I tell you how my body is performing and we adjust.
• Sean isn't getting out of the car. He must be tired from his Seattle to Portland bike ride he did. I worry about him and watch what he does.

Darwin to Lone Pine (mile 90 to mile 122):

 Mt. Whitney came into view

Mt. Whitney! with Cyndie

• That's where I am going. That is my finish line. That is where I get my belt buckle. That is where I get to be the person, get to be on a team that has worked together to get to the finish. After years of watching others have it, now I get it. This is my year! Right here right now!
• At this point I just kept my eye on that mountain and I just kept reeling it in. That it was so many miles off didn't even phase me. I could actually finally see it. After so many years I could see it and it was so close. It had never been closer.

Long stretches into Lone Pine


I'm on the road to Lone Pine, with Kris

• Run from that pole to that car up there.
• Run from that car to that bush. Ah, heck, go up to that next bush.
• Stay cool. Keep eating. Keep doing what the crew tells you to do. They say eat, I say ok. They say take this I say ok. Well, mostly. Sometimes I say "no" and so they offer me something else, which I take because I have to.
• Run up to the crew car.
• Run to that little hill.
• Run to the turn into Lone Pine.
• OMG. You are running into Lone Pine. Right here right now. Run into Lone Pine. All the way. No walking, this is it. The last stretch to that 13 mile finish line.

At the Dow Villa

Where's my f'in soup?!

• Cyndie is leading me one way. Nick is quietly telling me to do something. What am I supposed to do? I just want to head up the road! That is the finish line!
• I'm sitting. I guess someone has food for me to eat? Where's my f*^&in soup? If there is no food then I want to get going up the road! I don't want to sit here doing nothing. I want to finish! It's right there!
• Spicy chicken sandwich hurts my mouth. Sweet tea from McD's (aka crack tea b/c it is so addictive) tastes good. Takin' the tea up the road!

Lone Pine to Finish (mile 122 to mile 135):

With John, just staring the portal road
(pic fromYolanda Holder)

In retrospect, this 13 mile segment was just one finish line. I knew I had to keep tending to the machine by eating and drinking but that entire trip was just a 13 mile celebration. I could not go fast enough. In fact, sometimes my pacers were slower than me and I felt like I needed to slow down for them.

With Kris, Going Up and Smiling! (pic from Ben Jones)

 It's all good! I'm right here right now and my buckle is just right up there! Come on guys! Let's go get it!

Going up there! Let's Go!

And we did. And we were High Voltage right up to the end.

Dancing on the Portal Road

Linda said to me that the race was so smooth that it seemed like a formality; like I already knew I would get there but I had to go through the motions to prove it. I agree. Mostly because I never once doubted that we would finish. What I didn't know was that the race would be so ideal, so much fun or so empowering. I was hoping it would be.

Other people talk and write about wanting to have a transcendent experience at Badwater, wanting to experience that life-changing event. I think for me I got that out of the training, the sacrifices and the attempts to balance regular life while trying to achieve such a world class dream. The Badwater Ultramarathon was the celebration of getting there and getting there prepared and ready to run. I could not have asked for a better experience or a better crew. Thank you so much John, Kris, Cyndie, Sean, Linda and Nick! You were all completely priceless!

I was at The Badwater Ultramarathon 2012, and I ran it, and I smiled through most of it, and I finished it!

Right here right now!!